The Column

'Tis in a Motto: Ottoman I Sit Writing with constraints is a fun and difficult task. It will push you to go to spots to which you would not normally go. Crafting thoughts around a constraint is hard - I just said that. But as a smart man has said - if a thing isn't hard to do, is it worth doing? Having us both said our own things - it's also worth stating that not all difficult things warrant doing. You don't do your cooking with no lights on, do you? Baking in pitch black is not good for anything. It's difficult, but has no obvious point, no justification. Why do it? For art? Up until this point, this column has had a constraint. It's an illustration of a lipogram. That will now End. From Wikipedia: " Constrained writing  is a  literary technique  in which the writer is bound by some condition that forbids certain things or imposes a pattern. [1] " I usually don't consider something to be "poetry" unless it conforms to s...

Motto: Watch What I'm About to Do Here Predicting the future of technology has been a staple of science fiction. I'm running short on time, so I'll keep this list short. 2001: A Space Odyssey predicted the moon landing, space stations,  video calls, and the iPad. It also predicted stasis & artificial intelligence that was capable of feeling love. Iron Man showed us what a truly intelligent AI companion might be like. In addition, repulsor technology, and whatever the arc reactor is. Minority Report showed us that a User Interface can be a beautiful thing. Also - self driving cars. Also, weird clairvoyant slime twins. GATTACCA & A Brave New World tell us that genetics aren't a thing to be inherited, they are a thing to be created. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy suggested that we would someday be able to carry around a book that contained all the information we would ever need to know. Oh, and - Dick Tracy, the Jetsons, the Mighty Morphin...

Motto: If you are listless, you lack energy or enthusiasm. Prepare for energy and enthusiasm. There are several different ways people refer to me: Tall guy Goofy guy Really tall guy But nobody ever says: Handsome guy Mr. Macho The Listmaker ... which is a shame. At least one of the three of those is dead-on accurate. This Column is full of lists. Some of these lists will be from previous Columns, but I wanted to be thorough. Here's a list of the lists that you'll find if you decide to keep reading: Ways people tend to refer to me Ways people should refer to me List of lists Big wedding details that Melissa and I have already taken care of List of television shows of which I've seen every episode List of phones I've owned List of consumer products I endorse List of the contents of my messenger bag Top 15: Life Pro Tips Melissa and I have finally reached the point where I feel comfortable saying "we've got pretty much all ...

Motto: En Route, En Queue, In English As Danielle pointed out to me this morning: "No posts for three days?" - Danielle - She was right (which tends to happen). You might want to cry foul that I wasn't writing every day as per my 30 day challenge, but I retort to your imaginary argument with "I've written a few half posts that don't add together to any one whole post". Specifically, I've got several Top 5's en queue. I have another post en route. The will all be written in English. I went to a completely empty gym with my completely empty-headed friend Nick. We made this video: One thing I'd like to note - making that video was the first computer thing I've done on my actual computer since I got this Chromebook. It's been weeks since I needed a computer function that isn't readily doable in the cloud. It's been too long since I've made a Fight Club reference in a Column. So the picture to go out on wi...

Motto: Feel the Love I'd like to start this post by saying wedding showers are awesome. I suggest you have one as soon as you can. I have access to all sorts of great pots and pans now. How not sarcastic I'm being right there scares me. If you told a younger me that I'd be excited by pans or a Crock Pot I would have laughed at you. You wouldn't even have to go back very far to find that version of me. 2 years ago I would have laughed at the idea. Not today. I guess that means I'm officially old. On a more serious note, Melissa and I's wedding shower in Wichita was this weekend. The response from the community was amazing. I speak for both of us when I say that the support, love, and acceptance we both felt was overwhelming. I owe my most sincere thank you to everyone who thought of us. Also in Wichita: Krista's birthday. Also in Wichita: I almost lost to a 9 year old in a game of Horsh. Also in Wichita: For an hour I threw a ball up a flight of stair...

Motto: It's All Good (Except for the Bad Stuff) When I was in middle school I was in a band. I played the bass guitar with 3 of my great friends. I don't actually remember the name of the group, but I do remember that I was going to suggest the name of our first album be "It's All Good" subtitled, "Except for the Bad Stuff". That was Middle School Aaron's humor. It's idiotic and surface-level and 25 year old Aaron still thinks it's pretty funny. I guess you only mature in the areas you have to. I have always had a unique brand of humor. I'm not saying that like it's a good thing or something I'm praticularly proud of - it's just fact. The things I think are funny don't always align with the humor of the population at large. Or, if it is something other people "get", it may hit me harder... or not at all. I take jokes and run them into the ground. I push them past the line that separates "funny" ...

Motto: The Point of this Post is to Make You Hate Me It was St. Patrick's day yesterday, and I think that's the one day of the year we all like to gather and give thanks. I recognize that I have a ton to be thankful for, seriously. The following is a non-exhaustive list of advantages with which I've been blessed: I grew up in a household with both my parents. The whole upbringing turned out to be a sneaky way to teach me how to be part of a successful and happy relationship. I was the youngest kid in the family... by several years. I learned how to schmooze people, but I also learned how to be independent. Also, my two older sisters absorbed most of the parental worries. I totally had it easy. I am a white male. This shouldn't be an advantage in today's society, but it's part of the way people approach me and has surely affected the opportunities I've had. I'm between 6'8" and 6'9" and possess at least a small amount of natu...

Motto: It's What You Make of It Melissa is in Wichita this week. That means I am going to have a manly week. I'm going to fill my manly week with manly things: Weightlifting Eating chicken Watching basketball Eating beef Working hard at work Drinking water Sleeping like a log Eating vegetables Playing basketball Drinking milk Seeing bros Watching dumb videos on YouTube That's the summary of my week to come. I went to the store and had a repeat of the most satisfying grocery run I've ever had: 45% meats, eggs, and milk. 45% fruits and vegetables, 10% other garbage. That garbage was a can of Mt. Dew Kickstart, the new Limeade one. Also, I got some beef Jerky... but that's not bad. It's delicious. I'm going to take advantage of a man week. I started by playing some manly basketball... a nd by manly basketball, I mean manly volleyball. MAN STUFF. Man stuff includes low-brow humor. I'm going to watch South Park and leave this Column off wi...

Motto: Not Sure I have no plans for this post. It's 10PM. At some point in time over the past 3 weeks 10PM became my bedtime. I'm tired, tired in a way I don't normally feel. Could be stress from the new job. Could be a body tired of fighting off infection - everybody I know has been sick over the past 2 to 3 weeks. It could be anything. All I know is I went from having trouble falling asleep at night to having trouble staying up past 11. Melissa and I are getting married in one month and seventeen days. It's hard to believe it's real. You plan something for months. Then it happens. You are there.  Then you were there. Then what? I've got a lot to learn. Also - I've got a lot I want to learn... and a lot I want to do . I look forward to the future. You could probably say I'm antsy. Antsy, and tall. Guess which one I get asked about more often. I'm not sure what this was. If it sucked reading, I apologize. I'm supposed to wri...

Motto: It's not what you say or how you say it; it's what it looks like. This Column is mostly a list of related definitions. It started out as a paragraph exhausting my knowledge of fonts, but wound up being an entire research project. Learning something new about what I see and use every day was interesting and a little fun. Hopefully it's half as good as a second hand experience. I wrote this yesterday, but wasn't able to post it. Without further ado, let's get started! "Typeface" is what people usually think of when they think of the word "Font". "Times" is a typeface, not a font. "Font" refers only to the size, weight, and style of a particular typeface. "Italic, 10-point Times" is a different font than "bold 11-point Times", despite sharing a common typeface. The word "glyph", when referred to in the context of typography, refers to any given character. Technically speaking, I thin...