The Column

Motto: This is Shooting-From-The-Hip Poetry at Its Nothingest Before we start -  expectations be framed. Each bits of this is self-contained.  I've written a book. The main character was a clock. I gave him a tic; so th-this is how he would talk. Pet peeves with which everyone agrees: Slow drivers. Slow walkers. Loud eaters. Loud talkers. Pet peeve that's just for me: Using the flash at 100+ feet. Learn how pictures work, idiot. The price tag of the new iPhone is XS-ive. Yes I'm aware it's pronounced "Ten Ess" and not "Ex Ess"... but I'm just not good at making tennis jokes, love. Not all of these are going to rhyme. I cannot do that all of the time. They also might not fit in meter. Because I forget to check. Do things the right way & have a nice start to your day. Aaron's assertion, annoying as always: Be better by being bounded by burden. Cut corners cause cascading consequences. Don't dilly-dally. Do d...

Motto: girl scout cookies are a treat, boy scout popcorn is an obligation First, because I never do, here's a short poem: Running through the forest. Dodging trees like a wild beast. Light on foot. That's where he pooped his pants. That took me 10+ minutes to write. In my last post I said my next post was going to be a retrospective of 5 years tracking my life. This is not that. I didn't expect to want to write again so quickly. Recently I've been thinking through the real-world logistics of switching to Apple products. My entire adult life I've thought it will happen at some point. I'll wake up one day and throw my Android phone out the window of my new hot red convertible car (implying that it was part of some midlife crisis or something).  It started with a thought exercise with where I tried to map out all of the use cases commonly covered by consumer electronics, rate (from 0 to 5) how well a bunch of different types of electroni...

Motto: Sometimes I Impress Myself In Columns  #219  and  #289  I shared a series of snippets from the Moleskine I had been writing in for the past year or so. Last night I re-discovered the green "Irish" notebook that Melissa gave me for our 1-year anniversary (of dating, not marriage). Reading through it last night was one of the more entertaining things I've done in a while. I'd like to share with you a brief selection of things I wrote about from ~January 2011 to ~February 2012. This is from a time in my life before I graduated college, got a job, got married, and started doing all the projects that I write about here in the Column (also it's from before the Column). FYI - I'm going to write these quotes in the color they were in the notebook. Let's begin. Things I'm likely to learn from the time log: > You have too much time on your hands > The implications of E=MC 2 > Other stuff ----- - ----- It's beginn...